And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. ~George Carlin

Tonight I thought I would try and write a blog entirely about food, for something different.

My chosen topic will come as a surprise to any of my friends reading this as I am not a great fan of food. In general I find the need to eat/being hungry a huge inconvenience and if I could replace this activity I would. Just imagine how much extra time you would have in a day…..

My frustration is based on a number of issues:

  • Firstly I have coeliac disease so options can be limited when eating out (although improving)
  • Due to my Coeliac disease I have had a lot of experience of being poorly because of food. For me process of eating is largely filled with anxiety as to whether the next bite will make me ill or not. It’s a bit like crossing the road without looking… you might be lucky or it might be pretty painful
  • Food takes up valuable time to cook and prepare…this is particularly boring if you are cooking for one.
  • Eating requires planning (to go shopping) and therefore venturing into a supermarket (which in itself is a hellish process)
  •  The more you eat the more you have to exercise (I won’t bore you with my dislike of that for now)

In short I completely disagree with the following:

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.  ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story

(To be clear I am not against the social part that often comes with eating, in fact I rather enjoy it. However out of choice I would rather leave out the food and stick to the socialising)

What pleasure am I meant to get out of it all??? I am clearly missing something.

If you then start factoring in “the science” i.e. the complicated bit; making sure you eat “all the right things”, getting your  “ 5 a day” (400g of fruit and vegetables per day ) and making sure you do not consume too many calories… it becomes even more time consuming. After all if I have to do something I might as well get it right.

FYI: UK Department of Health Estimated Average Requirements (EAR) are a daily calorie intake of 1940 calories per day for women and 2550 for men.

It seems eating a balance diet and getting the most out of your food get more and more confusing every day. For example yesterday I read that drinking too much tea can prevent your body from absorbing important nutrients from certain food! There is no way I am cutting back on my tea…I am from Yorkshire after all.

This “food fact” lead me to do some further “googling” around the topic and I found some interesting yet worrying point’s which I will share:

  • An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs. – Fast food products are more likely to have human hairs and you will never know about it.
  • Worcestershire sauce is made from dissolved fish. – The world renown English sauce is made with liquefied anchovies. The anchovies are soaked in vinegar until they are totally melted down. This includes the bones and all!

To end on a positive (food) note I have taken great enjoyment in eating some homemade gluten free biscuits this week (thank again Becca) and some homemade cupcake (its National Cupcake wee) that even if I do say so are not so bad. I guess I should amend my view to be “Food is pointless. Other than cake!”

I am aware not too many people share this view so I won’t hold my breath for comments of agreement.

I have however managed to find some amusing food related quotes to end with.

Bye for now  (I am sure I will go back to a more sensible topic next time) xx

I find chopsticks frankly distressing.  Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven’t yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?  ~Bill Bryson

Recipe:  A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog wouldn’t eat.  ~Author Unknown

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett

Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.  ~Henry IV of France

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.  ~Fran Lebowitz

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.  ~Calvin Trillin

I’m trying to eat better.  And, I do feel wise after drinking tea.  After eating vegetables, I just feel hungry.  ~Carrie Latet


2 thoughts on “And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. ~George Carlin

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