Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
I know I know I haven’t blogged in months but I am still here and it seems wrong to let the year change and not even post something about the last 12 months. Isn’t that what us blogging type do, reflect, over think and share our thoughts??? Or is that just me???
2012 has certainly had its ups and downs; it started much as 2011 had done for me with more surgery and tears. 2012 for me hasn’t been a year of huge life achievements, of ticking goals of my bucket list or even the 30 things to do before 30 lists. It’s been a year of few significant activates, no exotic holidays, I haven’t found the one, I haven’t won a medal (that’s my brother) but I have learnt a lot about me, the person I am, who I want to be and the people I want around me.
How has 2012 taught me this I hear you ask…well let me explain;
This year I finally came to terms with the effects my Adenomyosis has on my life (ish) I have learnt to deal with it, I know more about when I need to rest but also when to take the moments when I am well and REALLY enjoy them. I know my limits better now. I also know my options and 2012 saw a light appear in the form of a new treatment. Understandably some of the people I love the most have pleaded with me to end by personal battle with it, move on (have the operation) but I know what I want now and am confident in my decisions, I know the risks I am taking, but that was my choice, I took back control. I know longer feel sorry for myself and question why me, after all its far from the end of the world (I am more than aware people face every day with far worse) and it has given me the opportunity to have a new perfective life (too cheesy/ cliché) for that I am grateful.
Moving on (sorry if you are bored already) this year taught me a lot about friendship. I learnt what a true friend is and hopefully how to return that love. Some important bridges have been re-built this year or maybe that the wrong way to look at it as they have been restored, regenerated even. I now understand the importance of respect in a friendship. We all disagree with each other’s life choices (we are all only human) but it’s the job of a true friend to respect each other decisions even when we do not truly understand. 2012 has showed me how crucial my friends truly are to me and my happiness.
I have been reminded of the things that raise a smile, that really matter and make me who I am;
- How much a love to read a good book and how important it is to me to make time to read
- The fun that can be had from letting yourself go and being excited about something as if you were 15 again (had to mention the epic fan girling in here somewhere)
- A very special little boy taught me how a child can always make you smile, even on your lowest days.
- The enjoyment in baking a simple cake for a loved one
- Supporting/ sharing in someone else’s achievements (my amazing brother earned a place on Team GB and a very special friend had her first book published)
- Learning something new
- Experimenting with a new look or even a hat
- That you can enjoy your job!
- I love rubbish TV J
- Making time to listen to the people you care about
So what do I hope for 2013…we I guess that’s fairly simple? I hope to be lucky enough to fill my year with everything listed above and now I know more about me, who I am and what I want from life, honestly I would love to find someone to share that with.
Maybe it will happen in 2013 maybe not, but one thing is for sure I know myself well enough now to know what I am looking for. I don’t want someone for the sake of it, after all I enjoy my own company, I want someone who appreciates me for me, doesn’t want to change me, isn’t out to hurt me, use me, or waste my time. I know I have a lot to offer, I just need to find the right person. The only question remaining is who that person really is…will I find them in Yorkshire or the other side of the world….where ever they are they better love Yorkshire Tea!
I want to thank anyone who has taken time to read even a word of my crazy blog over the last 12 months. It amazes me that anyone reads it at all but I am grateful that you do, I wish you all a very very happy 2013!!!!!
Finally it wouldn’t be the same without a quote or two…
How sure I feel, how warm and strong and happy
For the future! How sure the future is within me;
I am like a seed with a perfect flower enclosed….
~D.H. Lawrence, “Wedlock”
Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it. ~L.M. Montgomery
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey
One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs